


Lightning and Screams

by Mikkal



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, OT3, Poetic, Purple Prose, Speed Force, Spoilers, ish, only semi-canon compliant, spoilers for 'Rupture'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6745225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikkal/pseuds/Mikkal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>There’s a memorial for the policemen and women that were killed by Zoom. There’s a service for the Flash.</p>
  <p>Cisco wishes they could tell them he’s not dead, he’s just missing his speed and <i>‘no, he’ll get it back, he’ll be your hero again,’</i> but he can’t.</p>
  <p>Because the Flash is dead.</p>
  <p>Barry Allen is dead and gone and it’s all his fault.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	Lightning and Screams

Cisco dreams of lightning and screams.

He wakes in cold sweats and with sore throats—but he knows the screaming in his dreams isn’t his. The bags under his eyes are darker than Iris’ only due to her foundation. If she didn’t drag herself to work everyday then he’s sure hers would be just as dark.

Their expressions match, though—sad, desperate, grieving.

It takes nine days for Jesse and Wally to wake up. Her lightning is silver. His is a soft amber. Neither match the gold crackles in his dreams.

There’s a memorial for the policemen and women that were killed by Zoom. There’s a service for the Flash.

Cisco wishes they could tell them he’s not dead, he’s just missing his speed and _‘no, he’ll get it back, he’ll be your hero again_ ,’ but he can’t.

Because the Flash is dead.

Barry Allen is dead and gone and it’s all his fault.

 

 

Cisco dreams of lightning and screams, cries of the lost and scared.

            They’re not tinged blue so he knows it’s not a vibe. (Why would he get his hopes up?). They’re blindingly white, flashes of red and yellow. It’s too bright, like Barry’s smile on a bad day.

 

 

Iris brings him coffee after work. She brings him coffee at ten o’clock at night and two o’clock in the morning.

            She’s only one who doesn’t tell him to rest, to stop, to relax.

            “ _Barry would want you to slow down._ ”

            Which is somehow better and worse at the same time.

 

 

Cisco brings her lunch. He brings her dinner even if it’s too early because he knows she misses lunch when he doesn’t bring it.

            It’s amazing he remembers to eat.

            They share Chinese over a stack of notes that really shouldn’t get food on them. He steals meatballs from her plate when they eat Italian. They don’t touch Big Belly Burger or Red Tomato Pies. Cisco’s not even sure he can stomach _looking_ at pizza or the BBB’s logo.

            They feel guilty when they laugh—stopping mid-sound.

           

 

Caitlin finds them. Hurting and _cold_.

            Her lips are tinged blue and her skin too pale. Her hair is still dark, but the roots are too white.

            When she touches Cisco’s bare hand, he doesn’t burn.

            When she cries it turns to ice.

 

 

Jay Garrick finds them. Hurting and lost.

            His hair is too long and his skin is drawn tight.

            His eyes are clear blue like the sky on a perfect day.

            He looks everything like Zoom—Hunter.

            He is everything but.

 

 

Cisco dreams of lightning and whimpers.

            Sparks burn his cheeks and he bursts into tears for no reason he knows. He curls on the ground, hugging himself, sobbing.

            Barry’s gone.

            _Barry’s gone_.

 

 

Iris stays at his place once.

            Twice.

            Three times.

            The first night had been a night of grief. Wrapped up in a blanket, curled around each other, and in tears.

            The second they watched Barry’s favorite movie.

            And cried again.

            Third time they migrated to his bed, Cisco felt guilty. But he felt warm.

            Nothing happened, of course. But he’s never felt closer to someone than he does to Iris now since Barry.

 

 

Cisco never stays at her place.

            They never talk about why.

            There probably isn’t a reason.

 

 

(Lightning. Screams. Whimpers. A beg.

            A whisper.

            ‘ _Cisco_.’)

 

 

Cisco dreams of lightning.

 

 

There’s a hole in his heart.

            It’s been there since that day. Nine months.

            But suddenly it’s bigger.

            And he’s too scared that he knows why.

 

 

Iris hasn’t been back to her apartment in three months.

            Half his closet is hers now. A third of the dresser also. Barry’s clothes have somehow migrated to his room. Iris wears his CCU shirt to bed, Cisco finds himself wearing his CCPD sweatshirt around.

            No one questions it.

 

 

(Harry raises an eyebrow when Iris leans over Cisco’s shoulder, playing with his hair, but he wisely doesn’t say anything.)

 

 

Their hearts are too heavy, too empty to do anything.

            They know there’s a piece missing.

            They’re just waiting for him to come home.

 

 

One day.

 

 

One day they go to the waterfront.

            Cisco tells her the story of Mark Mardon and Cisco’s death.

            (the first one)

            He tells her the story of The Kiss and watches her touch her lips, smearing her dark lipstick.

           

 

One day they go to the waterfront.

            Cisco tells her a story and puts out a fist.

            It’s been eleven months.

 

 

Cisco puts out a fist and _feels something_.

 

 

“ _Barry! Barry! It’s Iris. Come home. Come home, Barry,_ please!”

 

 

He’s too skinny. His hair is wild. There’s something in his eyes that scares Cisco.

            Jay kicks them out of the room. Only Caitlin, Wally, and Jesse get to stay.

            Iris hugs him and doesn’t let go, even when Joe and Henry come over to comfort, to get comfort.

Iris clings to Cisco like a lifeline even when the noise on the other side sounds too much like keening, screaming, crying for any kind of comfort.

 

 

Barry can’t hold down solid food.

He can’t hold on to a water bottle without shaking so hard he drops it.

            He can’t look them in the eye, his fingers always twisting around each other, his knee bouncing, he clicks a beat in the back of his throat.

            He hasn’t spoken a single word.

 

 

Harry says the Speed Force kept him alive for this long.

            Iris says the Speed Force killed Barry Allen.

 

 

Cisco falls asleep in the chair near Barry’s bed.

            He wakes up to shaking fingers trailing across his forehead.

            He wakes up to wide green eyes staring at him like he’s a wonder to behold.

 

 

Iris falls asleep in the chair near Barry’s bed.

            Barry touches her fingers one at a time, soft like he’s scared he’s going to wake her up.

            Barry thumbs the tip of her nose, the corner of his lip turning up in a sad smile.

 

 

Hartley teaches him ASL.

            Then he teaches the rest of them.

 

 

Barry uses his speed for the first time in the three months since he returned.

            It’s too white.

            Too white.

 

 

(He’s faster now and Cisco’s scared.)

 

 

(Zoom doesn’t stand a chance.)

 

 

Barry laughs for the first time in five months since he returned.

            Iris nearly cries.

            Cisco does.

 

 

“I-I bou-bought b-blueber-ries,” Barry says, holding up the bag from Bobby’s. They look up in unison and he takes a visible step back. “I—.” He swallows his words, unable to finish.

            He doesn’t have to.

 

 

(they’re the best blueberries _ever_.)

 

 

Cisco dreams of lightning and screams.

            He wakes to the smell of bacon and eggs, his heart in his throat.

            They’re in the kitchen. Barry’s cooking pancakes, Iris is throwing blueberries at him that he catches in his mouth with super speed. Iris laughs and Barry takes a bow.

            Barry lights up when he enters, breaking out in a smile and immediately picking him up in a tight hug.

            (Cisco curses his shortness sometimes, but being hugged by Barry makes it better)

            Iris kisses him, lightly, and shoves a blueberry in his mouth.

            Barry brushes the tips of his fingers across Cisco’s cheek, smiling softly now.

 

 

This is when they would say ‘ _things are going to be okay now, promise_.’

**Author's Note:**

> I will admittedly say i haven't watched the episode yet. I had a really bad at work. The Flash would help, but I just...don't feel like it.  
> but i do know what happened.  
> I did see the next weeks promo. so I'm ignoring it tho.
> 
> um you might hate this? I like repetition...sorry?
> 
> ending things is hard


End file.
